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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29384976">if it's not you, it's not anyone</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/coupe_de_foudre/pseuds/coupe_de_foudre'>coupe_de_foudre</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>9-1-1 (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Episode Related, Episode: s02e03 Hold The Line, First Kiss, Fluff, Getting Together, Jealousy, Love Confessions, M/M, no beta we die like men, post crossover</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 07:35:19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,092</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29384976</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/coupe_de_foudre/pseuds/coupe_de_foudre</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“Yeah, right. Why <em>wouldn’t </em>you flirt with her? She’s funny and cool and a total badass, not to mention she’s gorgeous.” Buck points out, to which Eddie sighs and takes a step closer to him. They’re almost chest-to-chest now. Eddie can feel every exhale that Buck lets out, the warm air ghosting over Eddie’s face like a gentle caress, and his heart swoons.</p><p>It’s stupid. This is Buck. His <em>best friend</em>, Buck.</p><p>But Eddie has known that he’s in love with Buck for a while now.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>44</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>701</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>if it's not you, it's not anyone</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>nobody seems to be talking about the fact that they went to Eddie's parents' to eat so here I am delivering love confessions in childhood bedrooms, woop!</p><p>title from anyone by justin bieber because that shit do be soft</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Buck’s been quiet ever since they all got back on the truck. Actually, now that Eddie thinks about it, he’s been acting strangely long before then. He’d put on a smile, being friendly and grateful to Eddie’s parents when the few of them had turned up at their house for dinner and anyone else wouldn’t have thought anything was off.</p><p>But Eddie isn’t just anyone. Eddie is Buck’s best friend; he <em>knows </em>when Buck isn’t being himself.</p><p>And when Buck excuses himself to use the toilet but doesn’t return after ten minutes, Eddie finds himself slipping out of the front room in search of him. Hen is happily showing his mother pictures of her kids, Louise and Calum talking to his father about the wildfire, so nobody even notices as he disappears into the hallway.</p><p>There are not too many rooms in the house, and Eddie grew up here. He knows every nook and cranny – not that Buck and his ridiculously long legs would fit into any of them anyway.</p><p>He passes the bathroom. Empty.</p><p>The kitchen is abandoned right now, too, a stack of freshly cleaned dishes drying by the sink.</p><p>That leaves two more rooms, and Eddie highly doubts Buck would have let himself into his parents’ bedroom. Which means he’s found Eddie’s room.</p><p>Unless he’s outside.</p><p>Pushing the door to his old room open, Eddie sighs when he spots a familiar figure inside. Luck wasn’t on his side today.</p><p>Buck hasn’t bothered to turn the light on, the open curtains letting the dying sunlight filter through and illuminate his surroundings. He’s looking at all of the old action figures Eddie used to collect, now left gathering dust on his desk, head tilted to the side as he trails his fingertip along the spines of comics on the shelf above – which Eddie knows are all thumbed, ripped and faded with the amount of times he used to read them. He should take some home with him; give them to Christopher.</p><p>“Y’know,” Buck speaks up, voice loud in the quiet of the room. Eddie startles, not realising that Buck had noticed him walk in. He takes a few steps further into the room, the door falling shut behind him, as Buck continues, “Christopher always said you were a total nerd. I never believed him.”</p><p>Eddie groans, making a mental note to tell Christopher it’s not fair to talk about him behind his back, as Buck lets out an amused laugh, turning to look at him over his shoulder.</p><p>“Yeah,” Eddie sighs, deciding it’s pointless denying it now, “I didn’t have many friends growing up.”</p><p>Buck makes an odd sound, something between disbelief and annoyance, which has Eddie frowning. “You don’t have that trouble now.” he says, and the tone of his voice is sharp enough to cause Eddie pause in his approach.</p><p>“What’s that supposed to mean?”</p><p>Buck shrugs. He pulls out one of the comics, flicking through it carefully. “You had no issues partnering up with everyone in Austin.”</p><p>“It’s kind of our job, isn’t it? To work with others and save people? What did you want me to do, stay back and watch as the fire hurt more people?”</p><p>He watches as Buck sighs, shoulders sagging in defeat. Eddie wants nothing more than to reach out and pull him into a hug but, right now, he isn’t sure whether the gesture would be appreciated.</p><p>“You left me.” Buck says bitterly, closing the comic but not putting it back. Eddie figures it’s so he has something to do with his hands.</p><p>“You never said you wanted to join!” Eddie exclaims. He doesn’t understand Buck’s problem. They were there to do a job, not to make friends. The fact that he got on well with the team in Austin shouldn’t be bad. Besides, Buck had no qualms getting close to that TK kid.</p><p>Buck swivels around at that, face unusually void of emotions as he straightens up. He looks almost ready to fight, the tension clearly building in his shoulders, but his eyes say different. Even under this dim light, Eddie can see the desperation lying in them.</p><p>“I shouldn’t have to say anything.” Buck’s voice cracks, straining to keep it steady, “We’re a team, Eddie. You and me. I thought w<em>e </em>were partners!”</p><p>Realisation dawns on Eddie, hitting him like a tonne of bricks, and his mouth drops open before he can stop it. “Buck-”</p><p>Buck waves him off. “Save it.” He makes to leave the room, comic dropped onto Eddie’s desk, “I’ll be outside when you’re all ready to leave.”</p><p>Eddie isn’t letting him walk away from this, though. Not in a million years.</p><p>He grabs hold of Buck, fingers easily wrapping around his wrist and tugging him back a few steps until he’s standing face to face with Eddie. “Are you jealous?!” he asks, watching every twitch in Buck’s carefully held expression so he can catch the way his mouth twists downwards, anger flashing in his eyes for only a split second before it turns into a sadness so deep that it breaks Eddie’s heart. “You are.”</p><p>There’s no way Buck can lie, not when Eddie’s watching him so closely.</p><p>His eyes drop down to his feet, but he doesn’t pull out of Eddie’s grasp. “I just- you and Marjan were getting close and I felt…” he shrugs, “I felt left out.”</p><p>The admission is so painfully honest that it leaves Eddie speechless for a moment. He shakes his head, squeezing Buck’s hand to get him to look up again. “She’s great, sure, but I wasn’t-… we weren’t <em>flirting. </em>I was helping her stay positive, I could tell she was getting stressed.”</p><p>Buck scoffs. “Yeah, right. Why <em>wouldn’t </em>you flirt with her? She’s funny and cool and a total badass, not to mention she’s gorgeous.” Buck points out, to which Eddie sighs and takes a step closer to him. They’re almost chest-to-chest now. Eddie can feel every exhale that Buck lets out, the warm air ghosting over Eddie’s face like a gentle caress, and his heart swoons.</p><p>It’s stupid. This is Buck. His <em>best friend</em>, Buck.</p><p>But Eddie has known that he’s in love with Buck for a while now. Ever since Christopher’s last birthday, actually.</p><p>Hell, it’d been his son who’d pointed it out to him; asking why Buck didn’t sleep in Eddie’s bed with him like his mom did because, in Christopher’s mind, Buck was a part of their family in the same way that Shannon had once been. He didn’t understand why Buck isn’t treated like that, burying his tired face in Eddie’s neck as he was carried to bed and mumbling a barely coherent question that had flipped Eddie’s entire world upside-down.</p><p>
  <em>“Don’t you love Bucky? Why don’t you ever hold his hand like mommy’s?” </em>
</p><p>Eddie will admit, he hadn’t expected to reveal his feeling so soon, if at all, and especially not in his childhood bedroom for God’s sake but the hurt look on Buck’s face needs to go.</p><p>“Buck,” he drops a hand to his friend’s shoulder, tracking a pair of baby blue eyes that are trying desperately to avoid his own until they slowly blink up to meet Eddie’s gaze. Eddie smiles, soft and sweet, and hooks two fingers under Buck’s chin. “She’s not you.” he whispers into the space between them, baring his soul to his best friend and praying that he won’t get his heart broken a second time.</p><p>Buck’s face twists into confusion, getting that adorable puppy-like expression that has Eddie’s heart skipping in his chest. It lasts a minute. Two.</p><p>And then realisation breaks through, disbelieving laugh rushing past his lips in a single breath and his eyes light up like a kid on Halloween – that awful frown finally melting away into a beautiful smile.</p><p>Eddie takes a deep breath, gearing himself up. He’s gone this far, he may as well jump to the finish line.</p><p>“I love you, Evan.” he says, not breaking eye contact for a second with the fear that this will all be some illusion and, in reality, Buck’s already stormed out of the room and as far away from him as possible.</p><p>His fears evaporate when Buck bites his lip, a light blush spreading over his pale cheeks. “I love you too.” he breathes out, voice laced with wonder and a fondness that makes Eddie’s heart feel like it’s going to burst out of his chest.</p><p>Before Buck can say anything else, Eddie crashes forward, pulling Buck down into a searing kiss. It’s nothing like how he imagined (soft, gentle, cautious), it’s so much better. Buck’s arms eagerly wrap around his waist, drawing him that last step forward and diminishing the gap between them as their bodies collide, heat and warmth surrounding him as a tongue swipes along Eddie’s lower lip, silently asking for access. Eddie grants it with a moan that Buck greedily swallows. It’s dirty and filthy and oh-so-fucking-perfect, a result of holding back on their emotions for so long that they all come spilling out as once.</p><p>It’s a kiss of passion and possession, biting teeth leaving Eddie gasping into Buck’s mouth and grappling for purchase in the back of his hoodie. He’d laugh at the absurdity of this whole situation if he wasn’t so opposed to the idea of breaking away from the lips he’s been dreaming of kissing for months now.</p><p>Within seconds, Eddie has Buck pressed against the desk, their tongues sliding deep and wet and Buck’s making this half-groan, half-whimper that has Eddie practically growling. Buck takes Eddie’s bottom lip between his teeth, giggling (fucking <em>giggling</em>) into Eddie’s mouth when he chases after him. A hand slips into Eddie’s hair, pulling a moan from him and Buck takes the opportunity to deepen the kiss.</p><p>They’re both so lost in it, in each other, that they don’t notice the footsteps gradually getting louder until someone is clearing their throat in the doorway, light from the hallway spilling into the room.</p><p>They jump apart, panting, and Eddie can’t help but let his eyes linger on the state of Buck; his kiss-bruised lips, the heave of his chest as he gulps down fresh air, and that devilish glint is his eyes. He looks fucking debauched and so gorgeous that Eddie forgets every reason he’d listed when convincing himself that he shouldn’t tell Buck his true feelings.</p><p>“Uh, hey, Hen.” Buck says, sheepishly, and Eddie jolts when he remembers that they’d been interrupted by someone.</p><p>At least it was only Hen. He’s had his fair share of his parents walking into awkward situations in this room already, thank you very much.</p><p>Hen smirks at them both, hands on her hips. “I see you guys are busy, but we’re getting ready to go.” she tells them, already turning to leave. Before she disappears, she winks at Eddie, “You might wanna fix your hair.”</p><p>Eddie frowns, quickly glancing into the mirror hung on the opposite wall and groaning when he notices that Buck has completely messed it up. There’s no way he could walk out like this and make it look like they were in here doing anything innocent.</p><p>Buck straightens up from the desk, wrapping two strong arms around Eddie’s waist and smiling as Eddie leans into him without a second thought.</p><p>“So…” Buck trails off, eyes flicking down to Eddie’s lips, “what does this make us?”</p><p>Eddie rolls his eyes, but his face is splitting in half with the smile he can’t fight back. “I mean, I’d like to take you out on a proper date. You know, dinner for two and all that.”</p><p>Buck snorts, but ducks down to steal one last, lingering kiss. “You are such a sap.” he says as they pull apart again, laughing lightly and dodging out of the way when Eddie goes to punch him in the arm. “C’mon, let’s not leave them waiting. I wouldn’t put it past Hen to drive off without us.”</p><p>Eddie chuckles, happy to follow behind Buck as they leave the room – not before he grabs a handful of comics for Christopher. He takes one last look around his old room as he closes the door, smiling to himself.</p><p>Maybe it’s not what he had planned for their trip to Texas, but Eddie can’t find a reason to complain. Especially not when Buck flashes him a cheeky grin as they say goodbye to Eddie’s parents, thanking them for dinner, and his hand brushes over Eddie’s on the way back to the truck.</p><p>Yeah, he definitely can’t complain.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>idk if this is any good? I don't really write 'getting together' fics because I feel like I suck at them so.... any and all feedback would be greatly appreciated!</p><p>tysm for reading (and if you left kudos/comments on my other buddie fics just know that I love you all dearly) &lt;3</p></blockquote></div></div>
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